the fog

This is hard. But hard is not bad. God brings forth life out of hard things.

Not just today, but most days lately, C and I wonder why we are doing this. We wonder what God is doing. We wonder why he is having us do this.

I feel like there is a large fog around this thing called foster care. There is a large cloud of doubt and confusion. It makes me forget why. It makes me wonder if it's worth it. If I'm doing any good. This fog makes me wonder if she'll ever know she's loved. It makes me wonder if she'll stop running long enough to see Him waiting with open arms. It makes me wonder if redemption is really a possibility.

But Jesus died for our sins. Even our doubts. He knew we would have days like this. Weeks like this. And he called us anyway. He loves me anyway. He went to the cross to prove it.

From the Gospel, we draw strength and hope and courage. In the Gospel we find enough for today. Enough to keep going. To keep doing what he has called us to

So even when the cloud seems so thick that I can't understand why, I still see Jesus. He still went to the cross for this. We will not lose heart.

16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:17